Sadness in the Air…

I’m sorry it has been so long since I have checked in. This surgery has really taken a toll on my body and my psyche. The pain has become intolerable and for those of you who know me, you know it must be quite bad considering I have an extremely high pain tolerance. I’ve also come to know who really and truly care about me. At the end of the day, just because people are your family doesn’t mean shit. I’m glad that I now know where I stand with some people. After all, some relationships just aren’t worth repairing. They aren’t worth fighting for. They aren’t worth…killing yourself over for someone who doesn’t care in return.

I’m hoping that over the next few weeks as the pain subsides my mood will lift and aspect on life and the future will shift a bit. It’s hard to stay optimistic when your in a state of pain all the time and can’t see past what is hurting you. It’s hard to see past what has debilitated you over the last 6 years and turned your life upside down. It’s hard to see that anything could possibly have a chance at being any different.

For now, I will shift my focus onto my physical recovery from this 9th knee surgery. I should be able to go to PT in the next several weeks and then the real work will begin. Right now it’s all about rest, nutrition, and pain management. Right now it’s about building my strength back to endure the road ahead.

-Much love